Recently, I pulled up my Facebook page and that section that reads “People You May Know” was at the top with Letty’s profile in the first slot! I hate the way Facebook won’t allow profiles to be deleted without jumping through hoops. I was livid! I was having a bad day anyway and that was the last thing I wanted to see. I miss her so much and I just can’t get past a few things (and no we didn’t have any unresolved issues). It’s just so much has happened and Letty was my Jiminy Cricket on a lot of things. I could tell her everything without judgement. Not that any of my new friends judge me but 30 plus years of friendship you have this rhythm and understanding that develops and you know by the look on the persons face what they are thinking and going to respond to whatever nutty idea you come up with! Facebook’s incessant need to control people and force people to make or keep connections is abhorrent! I looked up the details on how to get a profile deleted and it’s ridiculous! It’s almost as bad as these student loan providers hitting up the friends of the deceased person trying to collect on the loan. I had that happen recently also. Just obscene! I think Facebook is the Devil and always will. I’ve had several accounts because I keep shutting them down! I only come back for school or to keep up with a special event or family that lives far away. I need folks to move over to Google+! Please and Thank you! End of rant (drops mic)!
I went back to school for journalism, you encouraged me to apply for and I did get chosen for Google Glass but couldn’t afford the fee, and I cleaned house of folks I can no longer tolerate. Your headstone came but no one called me ahead of time so I could arrange a proper blessing. Such as life I guess. I became a staff writer for herdaily.com but that only lasted a month. You know how I am…allergic to stupid people! But it was fun while it lasted. Now I write online to Blirt Magazine. They broadcast your articles worldwide. You encouraged me to pursue what makes me happy and I am. I miss not talking daily but I know you are looking out for me still. Now if only I can get JP on track! Anywhoo, hopefully I will be able to post more but it’s been hard to verbalize my feelings and not sound like I’m wallowing. Love you, miss you!
It’s only been a few months since you went to Heaven. I am convinced you are there. How else would I have this peace about your passing? But you are still on Earth also. A song, a particular dish, or a television show reminds me of you and all the crazy times we had. The transition has been hard but I keep going because I know you would want me to never give up. You would want me to keep striving for good and making sure I didn’t take any crap off anyone. That avocado seed, from the last avocado you tasted, has sprouted and is growing. It is a constant reminder that life does go on in some form. You said plant it and see what happens and it took off! It is thriving amidst the chaos and it makes me happy that it represents a sort of legacy that is you! In spite of everything, you always had an optimistic attitude and you never gave up! You always ‘tried it once!” Twice if you liked it! I want to make you proud that you called me your friend. I will continue to try to be the best person I can be in spite of adversity and strife. I miss you but I know you are in a better place. I’ll remember all that you gave me. I’ll remember all that you taught me. I’ll remember!
Your Tio Joe and Primo Greg came to visit this week and it was uplifting to see them and to get to share with them your journey to Heaven. I know how you always looked forward to seeing them and I would be just as excited but I never let on. They thanked me for helping usher you into Heaven among tears and laughter. I feel a weight lifted off my shoulders knowing I had their approval and they really appreciated me as family. Because we are family and always will be. But sometimes it is just nice to be told. Today was also Primo Joe’s and Aunt Mage’s birthday. She and I went to lunch and talked about the good ol’ days at Recess and Corinna’s Bar. I gave her your Diva hat and she was overjoyed! Joe brought the kids to Tio Henry’s to see Tio Joe and Primo Greg and we had hotdogs, cake, beer, and Patron! Everyone was there except Blanca because her car broke down again. It really did this time! LOL! I caught Patsy slipping and got a picture of her! She is looking really well. It was a good day! Life is moving on as it always does but YOU are still a part of it and always will be. If I ever get around to having kids, I will tell them about their Tia Letty and how cra cra she was. I bet you are keeping the party rollin’ up there! I know I will down here until it’s my time to move it on up!
We celebrated your birthday as crazy as we could. But of course it just wasn’t the same. But I think we did a decent job of it! I know you joined in because the shots we poured absorbed super quickly (yeah I know, the ground was dry and any liquid would)! But it was symbolic of your thirst for life and how you lived it to the fullest! We crammed a lot of stuff into 40 plus years and could have done a lot more but God needed you at his dinner party instead! Each day gets a little easier because I keep remembering all the good times that overshadowed any bad times we had. I am blessed to have had you in my life and will be forever grateful for the time God let us have. You helped shape who I am and I am a better person for having known you! You always were my champion when no one else was and now you are watching over me and praying for me. Don’t forget to put in a good word for me with God!
That is what they call the little things that need taking care of after someone passes away. One such loose end was closing out Letty’s library account. I knew she had outstanding fines we never got around to taking care of so I decided to complete that “loose end” this past Friday. I stopped at the library and inquired on how to pay the fines and the Librarian said all I needed was her ID and she could take the payment. So, I went to the house and retrieved her ID and went back to the library. I told the lady she had passed away recently and I wanted to clear up any outstanding accounts as it was the right thing to do. Next thing I know, the Librarian is handing me a receipt and saying all was taken care of and condolences for my loss. She waived all the fines! I couldn’t believe it. I fought back the tears as I thanked her and proceeded to leave. No sooner than I was outside, the water-works started and I couldn’t stop crying! As I asked myself why I am crying? I concluded it was because I felt like I was erasing her earthly presence by closing out her library account. Even a little thing, such as paying off her library debt, made it that much more real that Letty is gone. I’m sure there will be many more incidents like this but as each day passes, hopefully it won’t hurt so bad.